Kimberly Peil

Almost Christmas

In Uncategorized on November 15, 2010 at 9:28 am

I typically do not even think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over.  One holiday at a time please!  However, it has been on my mind a lot lately.  It’s always such a roller coaster of emotions for me.  I always love sharing Christmas with Hunter.  And I am very excited to celebrate Ella’s first Christmas this year.  I found a Grinch t-shirt at Old Navy, and decided that she needed it to get into the “holiday spirit.”  I even took her down the Christmas isles at Target last week, and watched her as she pointed at the fake trees and said, “ooohhh!”  I am pretty sure she is going to love it just as much as Hunter.

Christmas was never that wonderful of an experience for me growing up.  Maybe because one of my earliest memories of Christmas is when my Mom had already left, my Dad couldn’t afford presents, and instead the church delivered gifts to our home.  Don’t get me wrong, it was great to get presents, but at 7 years old I kind of understood what was going on and I felt embarrassed.  Then by the next Christmas my Dad had remarried.  I had a few decent Christmas’s over the next 15 years, but most of them ended in horrible fights between my Dad and my Step-Mom.  And even now the dis-functionality of it all continues, and I find myself depressed and frustrated.

I am thankful that I have my own little family now that I can make new memories with.  However, there is still a sting in my heart when I can’t celebrate with my Dad, Brother and Sister like I want to.

I know I haven’t blogged in quite a while… and this is definitely a depressing note to re-start on!  But it’s what’s on my heart and what I feel like sharing at the moment.

  1. Christmas is an emotional roller coaster for me as well. I have so many dysfunctional memories I associate it with. And mostly an “un-stable” feeling. I hope to break the cycle with my family and begin to create beautiful, Christ filled memories that will go on for generations! Praying for this for you as well!

  2. I’m glad you and Hunter will be able to make wonderful and lasting memories with your new family. And I’m sorry you have such terrible memories from your childhood. That’s not fair that you have to deal with that.

  3. I hope you are finding the joy in creating new Christmas memories with your new family! Thank about the new traditions that you can start this year with Ella, that will carry on for years. You are blessed beyond measure now, I can’t wait to hear how much different this year is because of Ella!

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