Kimberly Peil

Archive for March, 2012|Monthly archive page

Due Date

In Uncategorized on March 2, 2012 at 11:03 am

Today is my due date.  I can’t really say I am surprised that baby boy isn’t here yet.  After all, Ella was 10 days late!  And unlike my pregnancy with Ella, I am not nearly as impatient this time around.  I’ve gained 20 less pounds and I feel pretty good overall.  Honestly, the only thing I fear is going two weeks late and having to succumb to a dreaded repeat c-section.  I just want to go into labor on my own!

I know everyone’s experience and memories surrounding a c-section are different.  Am I thankful that my baby girl is here, despite the unplanned circumstances?  Of course.  Would I do it again if it meant having the amazing and healthy little girl that I have?  In a heartbeat.  So I know that a lot of people don’t understand the fear I have of a repeat c-section.  I don’t know if I could ever successfully describe the fear, failure, and pain that I have associated with the c-section.  I don’t know if anyone can really understand unless you’ve been there.  And even then, your experience might have been different than mine.

What I do know is that it is not a mistake that I can conceive a child.  It is not a mistake that I make “big” babies.  I believe that God will not give me more than I can handle.  I believe that He created my body to give birth.  I am only frustrated with the timelines and due dates that doctors put on pregnancy.

And so today I choose to focus on the good.  I choose to focus on God’s promises.  And I choose to relax and enjoy my day with my sweet Ella, because I know our days alone together are limited.

Psalm 37:5- Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Isaiah 26:3- You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Psalm 40:1- I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.